Back at our hostel, Brianna and I debated how to spend our
night in the city, and decided the best option was obviously the Calypso
Cabaret, one of Bangkok’s finest ladyboy shows. Bangkok is known as having some
of the best ladyboy shows in the world, and the most convincing transvestites.
Apparently, Thai men make beautiful women because of their small features,
height, and flawless skin, and Thai ladyboys are some of the highest paid sex
workers in the world. Even after hearing all this, our jaws dropped as the first
number started and some of the most gorgeous women we’d ever seen started
singing and dancing in leotards and sequins. We watched dazzling performances
from Chicago, Moulin Rouge and Marilyn Monroe impersonations. Still, it was
impossible to tell that some of the performers were male. They were so pretty,
and many have had sexual reassignment surgery, so it’s actually easy to see how
some unsuspecting tourists find out the next morning they haven’t slept with a
female prostitute after all, (Hangover 2 anyone?). Some might never even know…
Immediately after the show, our next adventure began. We
attempted to find a cab to the Hilton for the amazing view from the 360 Sky
Bar. But no cab drivers knew where the Hilton was. We repeated it over and over
and tried to explain…”It’s a really, really big hotel…a lot of tourists stay
there…the HILTON…” We got nothing but blank stares. Normally we try to have an
address or map on hand for these inevitable language barriers, but we thought
the Hilton was pretty popular, and huge. In our fourth cab, we sat while the
driver called all his friends who spoke English and I attempted to explain to
them. “The ehton?” they all asked, confused. “Yes, the Hill-ton.” Awkward
silence on the other side, no matter how many friends he called. (Brianna has
this on video. If anyone knows anyone, who knows anyone, who knows anyone, who
knows anyone in the production or television industry, we are dying to meet
them and pitch our travel show ideas. Somehow we always end up in the most ridiculous
situations. Way more entertaining than An Idiot Abroad. Who gave that guy a
show? Ugh. Anyway…) By cab five we were losing hope, but this time the driver
pretended to know his way around, until we stopped in the highway so he could
ask someone, who, shocking, had no idea. He called a friend and the same
conversation ensued. “Can you look it up and tell your friend the address?” I
pleaded into the receiver. “Google..?” Apparently that logic didn’t make sense,
so he hung up. Finally, we called my dad in the states. His first words at
hearing our dilemma: “Who doesn’t know where the Hilton is?” Our thoughts
exactly! He Google mapped us, we relayed the address and we were on our way,
(but not until we got out of that cab because he wanted to overcharge us, and
into another one…now we’re on #6).
Still laughing that we had to call the United States to get directions
in Bangkok, and having a momentary pang of appreciation for home and the quick,
logical way things work there, we took the elevator up to the to 36th
floor of the Hilton, to a view worth the hassle. And then our night got even
more interesting… Sipping elaborate cocktails and overlooking the city, we were
soon joined by some men on business from Canada, who thought we were
Australian. (We’ve gotten Australian, Swedish, English and Canadian, but people
rarely think we’re American, which is strange). Finding out we were from the
Midwest, they then made us feel guilty for not knowing anything about their
country. In Canada, they watch US news and know everything about our politics,
economy, etc, but US citizens know nothing about Canada. This is true. Brianna
and I know a lot about the Middle East, and a lot about pretty much every
country except Canada, which is embarrassing considering we border it. Done lecturing, they introduced us to
their friend Katy, a woman from Bangkok who went to school at UW-Madison. “Ahh
I love Wisconsin!” she said. “Party now, work later! Cheers to that!” She was
funny, pretty and older than we originally thought, (we think about 38, but
originally though 25). Despite her
love for Madison’s party school reputation, she is very intelligent and
accomplished. She got her masters and PhD from UW-Madison for Education, and then
became superintendent for a large school district in Bangkok. Even more
interesting is that she used to be a member of Thailand’s parliament, and we
were currently in the area she represented. Now, she’s a professor. She looked
so young to have done all of this already! So excited to talk about Madison and
meet other UW alums, she called her brother Matt and forced him out of bed, (it
was 1am), to come meet us too. (First, she pulled up a youtube video on her phone of a commercial he stars in). He went to law school at Madison, and was
equally excited. It turns out Matt and Katy, (not their real names, but what
they tell people to call them because their real names are so hard to
pronounce), are influential in Bangkok.
The bar was closing, but Katy wanted to keep talking so she slipped the
servers a tip and we got bottle service and they stayed open.
“Now we’re going to a club!” she announced
an hour later. So our group, (also including a few more people in town for
business with Matt’s company), piled into cars and taxis. “You two are riding
with my brother in his car,” Katy said, leading us to his Porsche. “Want to
drive it?” We opted out of attempting to drive on the opposite side of the
street, but happily sat on the passenger side as we sped off and talked about
Wisconsin and snowstorms. Inside
the club lights flashed with loud music and throngs of people, and we danced
until it closed. Matt and Katy were SO nice. When they heard we were staying in
a hostel, they upgraded us to one of the nicest hotels in Bangkok, (“we have
vouchers”), and told us they could get us flights for free too. The next
morning, Matt sent his driver to pick us up and take us to get our India visas
so we wouldn’t have to pay for a cab. For whatever political status or wealth
they might have, they were some of the most laid back people I have ever met.
Katy was fun and carefree, and Matt talked endlessly of bike trails in Madison
and solo fishing trips in southern Thailand. They invited us to their father’s
birthday party a few days later, but unfortunately due to limited time we
couldn’t stay, (and didn’t get to utilize the nice hotel!). Of all the people to randomly meet, how
strange that they went to UW!
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